10 things NOT to do in Las Vegas

Posted by Ash on March 9, 2010

So MSNBC just posted their “10 things not to do in Las Vegas” and I wanted to throw in my 2 cents.

10. Don’t use the casino ATM’s – Amen! I would like to add Don’t use the casinos or the strip clubs ATM’s to that.Unfortunately the ATM’s at the casinos will charge ya 5 to 15 bucks, and if your a Bank of America customer, you’ll get an additional 5 dollar fee on top of the ATM’s fee.

9. Don’t dress sluttily – Ehh fuck that. When in Vegas slut it up. What happens here stays here right? Besides if you can’t slut it up in Vegas then where can you slut it up?

Perfect Vegas clubin' dress IMO

8. Don’t wear painful shoes – Yep. Lots of walking involved on the strip. Cabs only take you to the door. BTW ladies, don’t wear uncomfortable shoes at all when parting, even if your just at your hometown bar. Lilith has pulled this on me a few times. Nothing can end a night quicker than a girl who doesn’t want to do some dancing because of her shoes.

I donno if these are painful shoes to wear. I just liked the toes in them.

7. Don’t get married at the Chapel of Love – I’m gonna file this one under, “well no shit.” Unless you truly want a Vegas style shot gun wedding stay out of the drive up wedding chapels. Go to the Erotic Heritage Museum’s Chapel of Lust instead!

6. Don’t choose the cheapest buffet in town – Yeah. Actually I say do a little research first on the buffets. None of them are too crazy priced anyways so spend a few extra bucks on a good one. The Rio has a great one as well as the Paris. Even the Bellagio’s buffet, as nice as it is, is not too expensive.

5. Don’t log on in your room – I would say this is a good idea. Your in Vegas, what do you need the internet for anyways? If you want the internet for porn then the “all you can view” porn pass (or as I like to call it the “until you are raw” pass) on the in demand guide in your room will be cheaper in the long run and it’s a better investment anyways.

Be sure to ask for a happy ending

4. Don’t drink before your massage or you’ll puke – Wooord dawg? I’m calling BS on this one. If your gonna puke than I’m saying its going to be because of the amount consumed not the massage itself. But I do like the tip of getting one before you drink. I’d say that is a good way to warm up for a day of heavy drinking.

3. Don’t see Criss Angel’s “Believe” – I gotta say EVERYONE I know has said this show is horrible, EXCEPT, my sister. So I’m just saying watch at your own risk. You might check out Beatles Love instead. Best show on the Strip IMO.

Best show on the strip!

2. Don’t arrive at the airport 30 minutes before your flight – Another one chalked up to, “well no shit.”

1. Don’t stay up all night, then catch your flight – Ehh, you only live once. I have done this a few times when visiting places like Cancun. It really blows the next day, especially if you have been drinking all night, but I can sleep like a baby on a plane. So it’s your call on that one.

That was a kind of a crappy number 1 tip so I would like to add my all time number 1 biggest Las Vegas tip:

No matter what a stripper tells you, there is no sex in the champagne room… None.

No matter how into you the stripper seems to be. Shes just into your wallets contents. Trust us. We have learned the hard way before. I’ll let Chris Rock explain.

Actually a lot of Chris Rocks advice in this song applies to Vegas!

Ash Modeus 8===D~o

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